Docs said she was braindead & only sustainable on life support for a few days. We went to the hospital 2x/day to see her lying there. She didn’t know we were there, and to see the pain and dispair on my aunts’ faces was terrible. But it was also good to see all our family together in one place. All our cousins, aunts, uncle, and my grandma’s sister and friends- family I haven’t seen together since those carefree childhood times.

I was still very sick @ the time, everyone said i shouldn’t have gone & the pollution in Taiwan was so bad my health got worse the next 6mo. But still I hobbled 2x a day w/gas mask to hospital to see Grandma. I’m glad I went-no regrets. There are only few important days in life, the rest is just daily routines (the rubbish of life) . Make the important days count- that’s all you really remember in the end.

This year, I’m thankful for being the healthiest I’ve been & suffering less…best gift ever. So many blessings came my way to make it so. People who I consider angels have come into my life and turned things around for the first time in my life. If you haven’t read my story, here you go: http://flyboysfund.jeffreylin.net/2008/10/22/trading-a-life-my-story-part-1/

Maybe Grandma is watching over me in heaven I’d like to think so. No one loves me more.

2007 was a much better year. My health was still a roller coaster and there were countless days I held on for dear life. However, things started to happen that made me feel more alive and mentally stronger. Mental health is more important than anything. A person in the worst circumstances can be happy, while someone with everything can be depressed.

I needed human interaction, even if only online. So, overestimating my improvements, I started the Systems Architecting and Engineering M.S. program at USC with just one online course. I still hoped to do engineering someday. If I could do night trading, I could surely handle one course right? I quickly gave up on this nonsense. I didn’t have the energy to keep up with the class schedule. Besides, the class was for managers much older than me. The markets were much friendlier to my chaotic lifestyle. I worked when I could, as much as I could, and simply rested when I felt terrible.

Luckily, even without middle-aged USC classmates, I didn’t go back to solitary confinement. An acquaintance in Utah, with whom I’d traded a few emails, kept me company. Other than my parents and occasional IMs with two buddies from college, this was the first person I’d talk to in over a year. Unlike my “friends” on TV, here was someone who responded and cared I existed. Day by day, the online chats and phone calls nursed away some depression. She didn’t mind I that couldn’t talk much at first. I slowly learned to control my mouth and form coherent phrases again. Through her stories, I felt more connected with the world. Our conversations helped me remember myself. My interests, ideals, humor, and creativity: parts of me that used to light up my life even when I was sick. I’m forever grateful she stayed with me on the phone everyday, and became my closest friend through it all.

Neither my mental or physical health turned around on a dime. Stories always jump to turning points, making things seem easy. If thing’s don’t come easily for people, one after another, they think something’s wrong. It’s not. Everything’s a process that takes shape over time.

Slowly, I became more proactive in my life as best I could. I turned my unfinished USC research paper on Akamai Technologies into my first stock analysis article, explaining complex technologies in layman terms. A lot of work went into the research paper. Why not make it useful? I submitted it to SeekingAlpha.com. The editors liked it enough to ask me to be a contributing author. What a fantastic confidence boost, especially for my first submission! This motivated me to write more. I felt my technical background gave me a firmer grasp of a company’s technology and opportunities than many analysts.

Did I find my niche? To explain to people a company’s technology and the company’s potential because of it? What a useful place my engineering degree proved to be in this new, unexpected “job”! It seemed like the best of both worlds. I launched a stock blog, Flyboys Fund, and wrote about technical topics such as technology and aerospace & defense. I found myself drawn more to global growth topics like construction, oil drilling, and the power grid. I actually enjoyed these companies’ conference calls because this was my comfort zone.

I was always uncomfortable owning stocks, like biotech, whose business confused me. These stocks were in my portfolio because they say you should have a little of everything to be “diversified.” No more. My portfolio had a facelift. I punted these stocks and replaced them with stocks I wrote about on my blog, the stocks I’ve knew. I didn’t have to spread my attention across tons of industries anymore. I concentrated on a few stocks, knowing them inside and out, selling when my analysis said the price was too high or buying when I felt the price was too low. I always kept extra cash for safety.

This is the general plan I’ve stuck with since then, though I’m constantly experimenting with new strategies such as options and technical trading. I figured, since the markets keep changing, I should be like a ninja: the more skills and tools I master, the better I can adapt. The airing of Fast Money in 2007 proved to be a godsend, teaching me to process news faster and take more decisive action. Thanks to Jeff Macke, I even went on the show via webcam.

My portfolio ended 2007 up nicely. Sure, global growth stocks like the ones I owned were stellar in 2007. How could I not make money? Why didn’t I make more? It doesn’t matter. What mattered was the markets started making sense to me, I felt I could succeed in the markets, and above all, I was a little healthier than I was in 2006.

Being tested by this death of a market in 2008, apparently I did learn a lot, or enough to not lose my pants. While the markets kept getting worse all year, my life has gotten better. Blogging helped me reach out to the world through the Internet. Many people have contacted me through my blog, including traders whom I’ve become great friends with.

In June, thanks to my friend’s dad, I visited the University of Utah Medical Center. For the first time in my 25 years, I found doctors who had dealt with conditions as severe as mine. Finally! The confidence in the doctors was well placed. Within a few weeks my skin cleared considerably. After 10 years, I can touch water again and even bathe now as part of the treatment.

Is everything peachy now? No. I have a long road ahead. The doctors are just getting their arms around the situation. Tests show my IgE allergy protein level at 18,000 (75-200 is normal), meaning I react hundreds of times more intensely to everything. We haven’t found a food I’m not allergic to, so I’m surviving on a prescription liquid diet. But I’m no longer in pain. I can go out, even went to New York for the Merrill Lynch Power & Gas Leaders Conference in September. I can look forward to tomorrow. It’s not dark anymore.

** Dedicated to my grandma, who passed away last November and couldn’t see me get well. She loved me as much as she could, maybe more. I miss her very much. **

** Thanks to all my angels: my parents, sister, family, friends, and doctors. I’m forever in your debt. **

PART 1
Videos Tracking My Health Developments

Why do we trade? There are as many reasons as there are traders, but the reasons are probably similar. Intrigue, gambling, occupation, and, for a few, because you’re actually great at it. In early 2006, a few months after college, I dipped my toe in the markets for sanity. I traded to escape reality. I traded to have a purpose. I traded so the people on CNBC could keep me company.

I was a complete market retard at first. Didn’t even know how to use Yahoo! Finance. True, in addition to engineering, I majored in mathematical economics, but I never cared much for finance. Only spent an hour per week on finance versus seventy or eighty on engineering. Being an engineer was my dream. Always loved figuring stuff out, having some vision in my mind, then seeing it come to life. Same reason graphic/web design was a hobby- I got to share my visions with others. But finance? Did it because I promised my dad I would.

So you ask, Jeff, why do you trade now? In short, life happened. I was born with asthma as well as severe skin and food allergies. I took a gamble on an immunosuppressant shot to deal with my allergies, hoping for a chance at a normal life. I wanted do what my friends were doing. Brand spanking new careers. Grad schools. Or just going out. But this shot nuked my life. My health, which had been sliding downhill since birth, simply fell off a cliff. My life and dreams went with it.

I looked like I had third degree burns or worse. Not a single clear patch of skin anywhere, only infections and leaking wounds that wouldn’t heal. My system was in chaos. Everything doctors tried made it worse, including the steroids I’d fall back on during emergencies such as this. Painkillers were off limits too. I was constantly itching and in pain. My mind also started to go. I didn’t know who I was, couldn’t comprehend much at times, and had trouble forming coherent speech. It might’ve been side effects from the shot, or simply a hysterical panic attack. I couldn’t cope with my new reality. I couldn’t see tomorrow. Little Orphan Annie stopped singing. Like P.O.W.’s, I felt “broken.” For two years, until a few months ago, I barely left my house, my room, and often had trouble just getting out of my chair.

One afternoon during these “early days” after “the shot,” I halted my channel surfing on CNBC to the screaming of Mad Money’s Jim Cramer. The show was packed with information and, for the first time in months, I didn’t feel brain-dead. At that moment, I became involved with the market. Doesn’t matter what people say about Cramer, even if every call he makes from now on is wrong, Cramer has my deepest gratitude for doing Mad Money that day.

I couldn’t have discovered the markets at a better time. Days get pretty long for someone without a job and can’t run the errands that fill up people’s days. Friends I’d chat with online had moved on with new lives. I woke up at odd hours while my parents were asleep, losing a bit more of my mind everyday as the loneliness set in. The markets gave me something to focus on, and it was accessible online. Like most beginners, I started on Yahoo! Finance. I signed up for way too many newsletters, forums, and even the Wall Street Journal. My dad had bits and pieces left from a portfolio he owned during the tech bubble. This was my starting capital.

I dove into it like every other naïve, innocent novice out there. Just because analysts and newsletters said Caterpillar’s stock was a buy, I believed them. I love the big yellow “CAT” dumptrucks. They were everywhere on National Geographic and Discovery shows! I sold the shattered pieces of MRV Communications my dad still had, and bought Caterpillar, all at once. Yes, everyone knows that’s a very bad idea, but I didn’t. I really didn’t know anything. Seemed ok at the time. The markets kept going up in spring of ’06. Easy! Sure helped my self-confidence and emotions. I thought, maybe I could make a living from my room! I saw other stocks, like Peru’s Southern Copper, go up everyday, much faster than my Caterpillar. China needed a lot of copper to build a city a day? It made sense. I bought the story and the stock. Again, bad idea. I know.

Focusing on the markets helped me get through the day. Any little thing that went my way was a big boost because everyday my health got worse. My body was simply overwhelmed by infections and allergies. I wasn’t handicapped, but my parents had to do everything for me, especially since I couldn’t touch water (hadn’t been able to for years). I was so weak my kneecaps would pop if I forgot to clench my muscles for even a moment. I hobbled to the bathroom or crawled there on my elbows. My skin was rotting, especially on the legs where I had the shots, and considered amputation. I was constantly on edge, uncertain of what I had to face tomorrow. Sometimes I wished I had cancer. At least I’d know what I had.

My sleep schedule was random. When I wake up or pass out was up to my body, not me. I was always exhausted, staying awake for only a few hours. I was mostly nocturnal. Daylight gave me migraines. The daytime heat irritated my rashes and often caused hot flashes.

Everyday I was woken up by pain, then cried out in pain while bandaging myself for the next hour. By the time I was done, my heart felt like it’d go into shock, and I’d collapse in front of the TV. I’d turn on CNBC, watching Squawk Box (3am here on the west coast) or a late replay of Mad Money. The anchors at CNBC were the only people I saw everyday and the only familiar voices I’d hear. They became my “friends”: Joe’s unique sense of humor; Mark’s quirky attitude; Erin’s engaging interviews; Dylan’s intuitive explanations. I even watched WorldWide Exchange from 1-3am. Yes, Ross Westgate in London, someone in California knows who you are!

These wonderful people kept me sane, and I dreaded the weekends when they were off air. When they were, I’d do research mostly by listening than web browsing. My eyelids hurt, and so did my bandaged fingers. I played Jim Cramer’s “Real Money” radio show (which he was still doing at the time) on weekdays, and conference call after conference call on weekends. Boring? No kidding! But I didn’t hurt as much when I had voices to focus on.

The good times making money on Southern Copper lasted for all of two weeks. The markets, especially metals like copper, went down hard in Summer ’06. My plan of buying, holding, making money, and living off of my “investments” suddenly sucked big time. The portfolio was worth less everyday. I couldn’t understand why. The “work” I did for months seemed worthless. (I realize now it’s just part of the job.) I was frustrated I couldn’t talk to the people on CNBC, or anyone, about this. I was angry I couldn’t be up while the markets were open, often thinking “if only…” Even when I was awake, I’d forget what I was doing. As I said, my mind wasn’t always there. This stress wasn’t healthy and I got even sicker. I couldn’t take it anymore. I sold Southern Copper and others I’d lost the most on…at the bottom. By the end of the year, Southern Copper had nearly doubled from where I sold it.

Everyone’s been there. Bought at the top, sold at the bottom, lost money, only to watch it go back up and laugh in your face. I felt worse because it was “my dad’s money.” Like everyone else, I wanted to give up, but I had something going for me. Something more painful than losing money: my reality. I needed the markets to focus on.

My mom said to consider the loss as tuition paid. I had learned a lot. I learned not to get emotionally married to any stock. I learned to sell, to think for myself, and to get back in.

It was impossible to watch the markets all day, even though I was always home. I worked around my unpredictable hours, taking a longer term “investing” view. I bought stocks I wouldn’t be afraid and confused about if they went down while I slept. Going along with my nocturnal hours, I caught up on news in the peace and quiet of the night, away from the market frenzy during the day. I even thought of myself as a “Night Trader,” the slow, languid counterpart of hyperactive “Day Traders.” I still bought and sold when I felt necessary, doing this early in the morning if I could. When there were economic or company announcements, I tried to get up for them. Then I’d pass out again.

Finally by the fall, my health stopped getting worse thanks to help from QiGong (Chinese internal energy exercises). Things weren’t rosy, but they weren’t in freefall anymore. That’s enough sometimes. My health improved a bit, then deteriorated some, but the worst was behind me. My portfolio made up some lost ground too, ending down slightly for 2006. Not bad for my first year, all things considered.

PART 2 COMING TOMORROW
Videos Tracking My Health Developments

Biopsy: Ok, as expected.
dermatitis w/eosinophil
thickening of skin, inflammation
no evidence of underlying tumor of lymphnodes

IgE: 20,111

Food Allergy Tests using blood samples
BAD if > 0.1 ml

Apple: 34.1
Beef: 3.6
Broc: 15.6
Chicken: 14.4
Cabbage: 21.6
carrot: 20.6
Lettuce: 9.8
Milk: 48.8
Peach: 39.4
Rice: 24.2
shrimp: > 100

Utah Medical Trip Update - 9.8.08

PICTURES FROM FIRST VISIT IN JUNE ‘08 (vs. this video of 3rd visit)

TRANSCRIPT (for the hearing impaired):
Hey everyone, this is Jeffrey Lin coming to you on location from the University of Utah guest house. How about that view of Salt Lake City in the background huh?!? Can’t help but feel good with scenery like that!

Today’s Wednesday September 9th, 2008. I’ve been here for 2 days- flew into Salt Lake Monday morning. This video is just to update everyone who loves me about this 3rd trip to the University of Utah medical center. For all my trader friends and blogging friends who don’t know me as well, this is my 3rd trip here to the Medical Center here at the University, seeing two of the most amazing doctors that’s ever treated me- Dr. Gleich and his wife Dr. Leiferman. Just the most loving, caring, understanding people you’ll ever meet.

I’ll do a prequel video of some sort to fill you guys in on what brought me here…but the short of it is I’ve had asthma as well as severe skin and food allergies of all kind (point out face)- this is already a million times better than just 3 months ago when i first visited. I probably look like I was just severely burned at the time- I’d post up pictures but it’s probably rated R.

So. this visit. Nothing significantly new, we started talking about getting me on a diet I’m not allergic to and try to pump me up from 125lb to 150lb. Other than that, This was just sort of a continuation of my visit exactly one month ago. During that visit, the logical step was to get me on some immunosuppressants, in other words, turn the volume down on my immune system, so I wouldn’t react to just about everything so dramatically. But my skin was in such terrible shape the first time I saw the doctors that they wanted to check my T-cells to make sure they haven’t mutated. Quick biology reminder: T-Cells are the type of white blood cells that protects our bodies by attacking foreign objects.

Dr. Gleich and Dr. Leiferman had wanted to do some skin biopsies at the time to check my T-cells, but I hadn’t planned enough time for that. So we did that yesterday (show biopsies). Got 2 for consistency I guess. I had the good fortune of having Dr. Leiferman do the biopsies herself and stitch me up. Very skilled hands I must say- I’d definitely ask her to sew or mend my clothes next time.

Also, last time we found out my IgE protein levels were ridiculously high- I had a reading of 18,000! Let me put that in perspective. A person with severe allergies usually only gets a reading of 180. Another quick Biology recap: IgE’s are proteins that help alert your immune system to something you’re allergic to. So me having a IgE level of 18,000 is like having a ginormous triggerhappy army ready to unleash hell on the smallest thing. It’s like throwing a ball at the wall and have it shoot back at ya 100 times faster. Thats how I react to…just about everything… But we knew that already. The highest IgE levels studied in medical journals was about 7,000- so we’re definitely in uncharted territory here.

So, i also had more blood tests done yesterday to check those IgE readings as well as my other white blood cell readings just for consistency from last time, hoping at least some of the readings won’t be so astronomic! Also, tried to get specific readings on how allergic I am to the few foods I eat everyday. My diet is already very very very limited (I don’t know how my mom can make a thousand different dishes out of the 8 or 9 things I can have…but that’s why she’s my mom!) But we wanted to see of those few things I do eat everyday, what I’m still allergic to because obviously I’m still constantly reacting to something, and the most likely source is the stuff I’m eating constantly.

So, if we can find out what foods I’m least allergic to, or even not at all, hopefully we can structure some diet so I can actually gain some weight and have enough strength to start getting better. Since last visit here, I’ve already started trying this liquid diet called Elecare, by Abbot Labs, ticker ABT for all you traders. It has everything you need in the simplest form so the thinking is I won’t be allergic to pure proteins and vitamins so I can absorb most of the nutrients. Works great as part of our strategy! But tastes disgustingly bland like soymilk, and it’s liquid so it goes through me pretty fast and I get hungry!

Well, I think that’s a good update for now! I’ll try to do more videos as we move along with our plan, and so hopefully y’all can see my progress. I’m thinking some background music might be good next time too. Any requests?

Ok, this is Jeff signing off. Thanks for watching and showing your love!

PICTURES FROM FIRST VISIT (vs. this video of 3rd visit)

HMC Named Leader in Ph.D Production

“Jul 22, 2008 - Claremont, Calif. - A new report by the National Science Foundation (NSF) lists Harvey Mudd College (HMC) as the leader among private baccalaureate colleges in the U.S. in the percentage of graduates who go on to earn Ph.D. degrees in science and engineering.

The report, issued by the Division of Science Resources Statistics, traces the baccalaureate degree origins of science and engineering (S&E) doctorate recipients from 1997 to 2006 and ranks them by doctorate recipients per hundred. California Institute of Technology, classified by the Carnegie Foundation as a doctorate-granting institution with high research activity, was ranked first with 35.2 doctorate recipients per hundred bachelor’s degrees awarded nine years earlier. HMC, classified as a baccalaureate institution because it grants only a bachelor of science degree, was ranked second at 24.9; Massachusetts Institute of Technology (doctorate granting, high research) was third at 16.6; and Reed College (baccalaureate) was fourth at 16.6.” full article >>

Princeton Review Names HMC One of “The Best 368 Colleges”

“Jul 30, 2008 - Claremont, Calif. - Harvey Mudd College (HMC) is one of the nation’s best institutions for undergraduate education, according to The Princeton Review.

The New York-based education services company features the college in the 2009 edition of its annual guidebook, “The Best 368 Colleges.”

Only about 15 percent of America’s 2,500 four-year colleges and two Canadian colleges appear in the book, which offers two-page profiles of each school and student survey-based ranking lists of top 20 colleges in more than 60 categories. ” full article >>

Jim Cramer has always said, its not “buy and hold” but “buy and homework.” Too many “investors” do not know what they own when they buy a stock, which is just reckless, but I don’t think its completely their fault. Most people don’t now how to do proper research, or have the background to understand how to do it. Even my friends who work at mutual funds often ask me where I get my info for the analysis I put on this site. This is why I started SuckingLess.com - an investor research and education magazine/community. SuckingLess.com is a collection of the best industry and company websites to learn about the companies you own. When you own a stock, you’re, in a sense, an owner in the company. So, you should at least understand the basics of the business or industry, which means you should probably read what someone who works in that industry would read. Still, this ISN’T you’re actual job and making it so would be too time consuming, so I’ve also tried to filter SuckingLess.com to have only the most relevant and easiest to understand websites. I want SuckingLess.com to be a COMMUNITY, a tool for ALL OF US. So, I invite everyone to come and participate on the site, SUBMIT your favorite research resource to help others learn the way I’m trying to get this started with my own favorite bookmarks. Please RATE the sites you’ve used before to help others know what’s most useful, and leave comments on how you’re using the sites or anything you’ve learned. Again, to help others. I’m sure you’ll learn something from the site, so give back a little and share your investing knowledge and experience with us! Sometimes its not immediately obvious what you can learn from a website, so give people a little insight too if theres a special way you’ve found to tap into the markets with a certain website. For example, I don’t have many resources on financials, healthcare, or retail/discretionary because, as readers of this site you know, I focus on industrials, tech, and energy sectors. So, help me learn a bit too! Finally, PLEASE PLEASE send me feedback on how to make the site more useful to you. This is a tool for all of us, so lets make this what WE need to do the best research. And get your friends and trading buddies to help build SuckingLess.com too. Thanks and hope this is what we all need to become better investors, i.e. Suck Less! P.S. 90% of mutual funds underperform the markets…so sucking is not something to be ashamed of. We just have to suck less as we learn more.

Tonight, I donated that $103.99 to March of Dimes.

Thanks to all the visitors and supporters of this site. I know seeing the ads sometimes gets annoying, but I hope knowing that I do put the income from the ads to good use makes them more bearable! I post to this blog more for myself and keeping my trading thoughts straight, so it wouldn’t be right if I kept any of the money.

However I’m glad some of you have found these posts even remotely helpful to your trading/investing. Yes, I’d admit half the time I’m not sure if I’m saying the right thing. Then again, if you’ve got a 50% success rate in this business you’re considered pretty good. As we push on through this recession and this bear market, I hope all this will be a great learning opportunity to become that better of an investor/trader when the bull market does return. I know I’ve learned more in the first quarter than ever.

I will be launching a site I’m making for fun to gather online resources for doing homework on our stocks. I have registered the name SuckingLess.com for this purpose, so keep an eye out for when I put that up and I hope you’ll all contribute something and help everyone do homework better and faster! Why call it SuckingLess.com? Like I said, a 50% success rate in this business is considered pretty good, but that still means half the time we suck! So, the plan is, if we can help each other do better homework, and suck less, we can make more bling. Until then, bling bling, and take a look at March of Dimes and make a donation if you can. If you already have a favorite charity, please write in and let me know where to donate my 2008 website earnings!

March of Dimes Mission Statement

“Our mission is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth, and infant mortality. We carry out this mission through research, community services, education and advocacy to save babies’ lives. March of Dimes researchers, volunteers, educators, outreach workers and advocates work together to give all babies a fighting chance against the threats to their health: prematurity, birth defects, low birthweight.”

On Sunday, a friend of mine asked me how I was gonna celebrate my birthday.  I said I didn’t know.  Not because I hadn’t realized it was my birthday, everyone’s aware of their own birthdays!  If I had wanted something special I would’ve planned it if no one did it for me.  The truth is, just being able to wake up today is a miracle to me.  Life, like your driver’s license, is a privilege and not a right.  I don’t know why my life and those I love were spared last year, but I’ve tried to celebrate that everyday and show my appreciation by living and working as hard as I could this year.  I’ve done much better than I hoped learning how to trade the stock market, with a stock blog that’s not as b.s. as I thought, because sites like SeekingAlpha.com, FeedTheBull.com, as well as big names like Reuters.com, Yahoo Finance, and Google Finance have all picked up my posts.  I’ve made some of my closest friends just in this past year, and I would’ve been very disappointed if I had never known them.  Being able to make the trip last weekend was a confirmation of how much my health improved in just a year.  All these things are more amazing and wonderful than anything I could’ve wished for over blown birthday candles.   If I had a blessing coming my way this birthday, I’ll pass it on to all my neighbors down here in SoCal who are losing their homes to the fires and no doubt in life threatening situations (not just from fires but sick people in hospitals can’t take all this smoke or power outages).  And no, I didn’t have a birthday cake or candles, so the fire have nothing to do with me…except that they’re suffocating me!  I have enough blessings, other people need it more than I do.  If you’re my age and thinking, what’s wrong with this guy?  Why isn’t he hitting the bars and getting hammered on his 25th birthday?  To you I say, I pray one day you’ll reread this post and see what I mean.